FreaKy Experience.

I tink I shl really stop acting happy and brave. Its ok to show how I R-E-A-L-L-Y felt.

I had to admit first time after so long that I was afraid.

I happen to meet this drunken man below my block while on my way home.
The cab uncle was nice cos he acc me to wait awhile for the drunken to go up the lift first.
So, we waited till he reach his floor. I waited for the lift alone.

To my horror, he came down again?!
He was so drunk that he tot he got home but the fact was he gt back to the first floor.
He took out his keys and try to open the lift door as thou its his house door.
Then he seems like he wanting to take off his clothes.

I was so shock. I didnt know wat to do. I wanted to call for help but who can I call?
I dun wanna disturb my family cos they must be fast asleep.
I was so so so afraid. I almost burst out crying cos the next moment he was staring at me.
The other lift doesnt come down. I cldnt go up.
I cldnt go up the stairs too cos I was with my luaggage.

I ran away. I hide at one corner till I tink its abt time he go off then I peep again.
Nobody's ard. I quicky press for the lift n ran straight home.

Suddenly I felt so.. ... sad..

All my fault.
Last time when my parents always offer to come pick me up or wake up when I'm going to work early in morn, I wld "scold" them n ask them to go back to slp..
Actually I just acting strong, I didnt wanna trouble anyone to wake up so early or be up so late just to wait for me.. I wan them to know I can manage it myself.
But whenever I c other's colleague's mum/dad/BF/husband coming down to wait with them for the taxi..
I envy them so much..

My ex bf had never done that.
Even if he stayed over at my place n I had to wait for my cab ALONE at 5am in the morn.
He didnt even wake up .. needless to say offer to wait with me for the cab..
I just felt hurt that he doesnt even bother abt my safety.

I had to secretly get ready in the dark or bring my stuff to the kitchen to get ready for work so that I wldnt disturb his sleep.. Sigh..

Perhaps, I'm wrong. If I wan him to do that, I shl have ask for it.

But everytime, EVERYTIME if he needs to go to work, I wld wake up with him, make him breakfast, send him off to work then go back to sleep again.. He doesnt appreciate that.

N sometimes, I really wish to be treated like a gal..
I wish to be like other gals, bf wld come over to fetch her or send her home.
I had NEVER trouble him with that.. Cos I know its NOT, on the way..
Hmmm.. I'm an independent gal.. But... I really hope he wld do it at times..NOT always thou.
Who doesnt want the bf to do that? I just wanna feel protected at times..

I felt so insecured..
I felt so scared..
I dun wanna act strong anymore..
I need someone to lean on..

I cannot imagine if that drunken stays there for the whole night.
I'll need to spend my night at the void deck till day break...
Who cares? By the way, who will know? HAiz..